RealMates — Ask

Pillar 01 — Ask

Do you actually know your mates?

You may know his football team and his usual order — but do you know what's actually going on?

10 questions to ask your mates

Start with one.

You don't have to ask all ten. One real question, asked properly, is the whole point.

How are you, actually?

Ask twice. The first answer is almost always the polite one.

What's been taking up the most space in your head lately?

Lets him point at the thing without having to name it as a problem.

What's been the hardest bit of your week?

Specific enough to answer, open enough to go somewhere real.

Who do you call when it's a bad one?

If the answer is "no one", that's the conversation.

What's been going well recently?

A way in that feels like a laugh, not an interrogation.

Are you sleeping OK?

Concrete, easy to answer, and a real signal underneath.

Is there anything you could do with a hand with right now?

Gives permission to want help without performing strength.

How are things at home?

The bit men edit out of the pub update.

Is there anything you've been carrying on your own?

Names the loneliness without using the word.

Same time next week?

The most important one. Care is the follow-up, not the one-off.

How to use them

Side by side beats face to face. Driving, walking, washing up — easier than sitting across a table.

Ask, and leave the silence alone. The real answer usually arrives after the first pause.

One question this week. Another next. That's the whole method — keep turning up.